The economy’s in a cavernous tank. Millions out of work twiddle their thumbs and wield their EBT cards for food and other welfare benefits. The Middle East is still a powder keg except that now the keg is filled with enriched uranium. Like lava flowing relentlessly from the Mauna Loa, a river of Muslims are flooding the streets of a seemingly impotent European continent. The United States is disunited as never before since the Civil War. The anger is palpable. The Black Community has the benefit of more open doors and more opportunity than ever before, including the coronation of a Black President; yet that Community is even more bitter, resentful and grasping than it was before the Civil Rights Act. Meanwhile, a bevy of GOP candidates pitch their wares to a nitpicking audience looking in vain for God Himself.  Mitt’s soft on government healthcare, Perry’s soft on immigration, Newt’s soft in the jowls, Paul’s soft on the military, Cain’s soft on foreign affairs — yada yada yada. And not one candidate has stepped to the plate about a grievance far more insidious than the economy or gay marriage. Something has to be done immediately about the maggots who speed their vehicles down residential streets. You know the story. You’re rounding up leaves and other tree debris for roadside pickup. At some point in the process, you can’t help having a pile of leaves in the middle of the road, when along comes the aforementioned slug. He/she (more like “It”) sees you step politely to the curb and certainly can’t help seeing the heap of debris; yet, with callous disregard, T-bones it doing 40 mph, spreading your work 100 yards. In that instant, knowing it would happen before it happens, you wish for an AT4 that would vaporize that Expedition on the spot. Spending the rest of your life in prison may not be worth the satisfaction; but then, think of the millions of leaf blowing stiffs who would hold you up as their champion. You ponder whether this denunciation is a bit severe but decide that, no, this single example of life on a neighborhood street provides a telltale glimpse into human behavior. And you realize it is this selfsame behavior at the White House and Congress that arrogantly plows over the Constitution and the rights of individuals, creating one mess after the other that somebody eventually has to clean up. Unfortunately, maggots are among the voters who choose that somebody, as evidenced by their relatives who occupy space on the Beltway. For this reason, you hold out little hope that humans might find a moment of lucidity to put aside things like appearance, personal baggage, single issue hangups and  simple prejudice; and choose people who actually have the sharp brainpower and verifiable experience to help the American people tidy up this great country. There is, of course, another option. Give Arnold a Stihl BR 500, send him to Washington and tell him to “blow, baby blow.”

There’s one born every minute. Yep, a sucker. A sap, dupe, fool, idiot, jerk, nitwit, patsy, pigeon, simpleton. That should cover it rather nicely. P.T. Barnum got credit for the mocking adage but probably never said it. Really doesn’t matter who said it. The truth has a way of weathering time. Literally, therefore, in any given minute the world begats thousands of suckers who in time begat millions more. And there you have it. A  thorough explanation of humanity in one simple sentence. You doubtless will argue against this cynicism. You doubtless will argue that humans have come a long, long way since the “beginning,” whenever, wherever or however that beginning took place. As evidence, you will argue that we don’t hang out in trees and, for goodness sake, we have a 4G network to prove it. Unfortunately for you, history teaches that technology — from the wheel to satellite imaging — has not advanced or elevated human behavior a whit. Put your mind to it for, oh, let’s say, 30 seconds; and you must conclude that human beings simply can’t escape their genetic dispositions. If anything, technology simply exaggerates human futility. Witness the online scammers. Historically, predators targeted victims one at a time. Now they have 24-7 access to millions of suckers who can’t wait to prove their stupidity. Needy females of all ages continue to strut their sexually explicit charms in meat markets and the lucky ones only get raped. Lonely widows and widowers, desperate for love and a new journey in life, suck up flattery and attention and get taken for a quick ride until their money runs out. Greedy investors, eager to believe in windfalls, entrust their life savings to  charismatic Bernie Madoffs who are always primed to take candy from the baby . On a mass scale, the biggest saps are Black Americans who bow down before any demagogue du jour who vows to lead them to the promised land as long as they remain good little slaves and stay true to their masters. And they do just that, because being black, pissed off and resentful is more important than being free or self reliant. And then there’s politics — the venue that relies totally on suckers. And being good little suckers, the American people never fail to disappoint. In 2008, they gave the most important job in the world to an individual who never had a job, who never provided a job, who never owned a business, who never produced a product. They elected a blank resume. Mr. Zero. They elected a cardboard cutout with an authoritative speaking style — by God, when he said it, it had to be the truth. The Sermon on the Mount. Amen. Of course, it was a lie — all of it — and therein lies the secret of all the great con men (and women) — from serial killers to gigolos to black widows to business cheats — that secret is having the deceptive charm to lie repeatedly, and after being caught in lies, to persuade you to overlook the lies. And this is what suckers actually do time and again — this is how human beings have behaved from generation to generation. Certainly, you must wonder — with the accumulated knowledge from the brightest minds over centuries — with the clear history of irrational human behavior that irrevocably leads to tragedy — why do humans religiously fall for fakes and phonies? Why do humans inevitably stumble and fall on the same road to nowhere? Why, knowing what you know, do humans repeat the same tired mistakes? Many years ago, Flip Wilson said, “The Devil made me do it.” Maybe that’s the only profoundly true answer to this vexing mystery.  But, if Old Scratch is not pulling his supernatural strings, who or what is? The evidence must lead you to one conclusion only —   that, like all other living things on the planet, humans are genetically predetermined to act and react precisely — according to their specific, preordained Nature. No better. No worse. Might as well get used to it. And suck it up.

Although you mourn the decay of the English language, all’s not lost. There’s some good news.  Americans still understand how to use words creatively and ingeniously, especially to sway someone’s opinion. Of course, no one maneuvers language better than the sitting President. He may miss the proper use of a pronoun here or there, but he masterfully hypnotizes millions of groveling subjects. You might say groveling has become a lucrative occupation in the land of Entitlement. In the business community, professional marketers who on the one hand struggle to parse a sentence also invent new words and find new ways to sway minds and hearts. So yes, all’s not lost. Our pristine language may be dying but the imaginative use of words flourishes as never before. By far, the best example of word play permeates both the boardroom and the bedroom. That word, or term, is Pro-Choice. Neat expression, don’t you think? Has a nice ring. Engenders feelings of self-determination, integrity, liberty, freedom, etc.  In the annals of political discourse, perhaps no word manipulation has ever been as artful. Because, in reality, Pro-Choice is what’s known as a euphemism (affectation, trick, false show). However grim it may be, the correct term is Pro-Death. You’re not the least interested in debating all the ins and outs of Roe v. Wade.  You simply want to expose the creative use of a single word to make a landmark case. If one group in society is Pro-Life, the opposing group must, by definition, be Pro-Death. Seems reasonable. The debate over this issue is futile and should be abandoned by leaving governments out of it. But something has been nagging you for years. If society decides it’s OK to kill a fetus (oops, you should say, “to end a pregnancy”), there also should be some legal provision for a parent to kill a child that hasn’t reached some magic age of independence; that is, when it can walk, talk, etc. Infants — even two-year-old’s — are as helpless and useless as they were in the womb; so to be fair, if a mother is inclined to abort a life in the womb, why should this authority not extend beyond the womb? In the real world, some women regret abortions after the fact; in other cases, women regret giving birth after the fact. In reality, therefore, Pro-Death is just a matter of timing. Millions of people despise Casey Anthony for terminating the life of her daughter, when in fact she just waited too long to realize she was Pro-Death. Scott Peterson didn’t want the burden of offspring. Fair enough. He should have been charged with the murder of his wife; but as a potential parent, the death of the fetus was merely a late-term abortion, in keeping with Pro-Death. If a mother gets a pass on premeditated abortion, shouldn’t a father? Parents do “own” their offspring, do they not? Or, let’s see, is there something in the Constitution about “the right to life?”  All this reminds you of a conversation between Josey and Ten Bears:
Josey: That’s my word of life.
Ten Bears: And your word of death?
Josey: It’s here in my pistols, there in your rifles. I’m here for either one.
Ten Bears: These things you say we will have, we already have.
Josey: That’s true. I ain’t promising you nothin’ extra. I’m just giving you life and you’re giving me life. And I’m saying that men can live together without butchering one another.
Ten Bears: “ . . . .The words of Ten Bears carries the same iron of life and death. It is good that warriors such as we meet in the struggle of life… or death. It shall be life.
You believe life is precious. You do, don’t you? Don’t you?