Exiting this life was a simple matter. It came down to the decision, the determination and the doing. But the matter became powerfully complicated in consideration of those he left behind. Just as acts of terrorism disrupted so many lives, turning off his own switch created at least momentary chaos; and long term, left behind a legacy of cowardice, shame, guilt and perhaps hardship. No one should inflict torment on those they love. If leaving life were a worthy objective, he should at the very least have found a way to commit the perfect crime – to either render the act an accident, or put on a disappearing act. The first is tricky, at best. Faking doesn’t wash unless everyone believes it. It’s been tried. “Lose control” of the car and T-bone a big oak. Take a nice long swim in the Atlantic. Slip from the balcony of a hotel resort. In the process, leave no evidence of premeditation, like drugs or alcohol. Easily said, difficult to carry off. Unfortunately, forensic investigation always seems to expose inconsistency and leave nagging doubts. Disappearance has more appeal. No one accused Amelia Earhart of purposely taking a dive. One thing must be certain with this strategy – human remains can never be found. No one would know if you were a deserter, living under an assumed identity on a Pacific isle or if you were truly deceased, decomposing in some desolate wilderness. The aftermath of such action might generate resentful anger or uncertainty, but no one would suffer through the awkward, embarrassing and painful task of cleaning up the “crime scene” and disposing of the corpse. To those left behind, mystery of the unknown has infinitely more appeal than stark reality. With this considerate approach, generations of families could gather to pass down legendary theories, speculating whether the old boy ran off to a secret life in Southern Italy, was kidnapped by the CIA or was robbed, murdered and ground up in a wood chipper. Not knowing is always a good thing. Self-destruction has no justification – none – unless it is perceived as an act of God or a third party interference. In a sense, Jesus played a key role in his own premature passing – albeit a redemptive, sacrificial act – willing to give Himself up for mankind. Thousands of mere mortals have given their lives to save others; but these acts of “suicide” are exemplified by valor, justifiably applauded and revered, while self-murder remains an act of selfishness and cowardice — regardless of extenuating circumstance. For reasons unknown, except for religious teaching, an individual in Western culture is not given leave to take life into his own hands without suffering ignominy. No such stigma exists in the East. Regardless, putting aside all moral and spiritual considerations, it seems only fitting that a person so inclined should be thoroughly thoughtful and judicious in the timing and manner of any final act – to, in a matter of speaking, just leave the scene, like stepping aboard a small boat and sailing away.
