The declarative sentence is dead. No, that’s not a true statement. Let’s be more precise. The spoken declarative sentence is gravely ill, the victim of continuous, mindless abuse. By all means, this “news” holds zero interest for people who couldn’t care less about language and those who don’t even know what a declarative sentence is — which is almost everybody under the age of 60. To be explicit, nearly every sentence is declarative. So far, every sentence on this page, including this one, is declarative — namely, simple, straightforward, definite, positive statements, not to be confused with sentences that are imperative, exclamatory or interrogative. To clarify further, statements do not equivocate. Unfortunately and exasperatingly for picky people who think the English language still deserves some respect, America is in the grip of an epidemic that has placed the declarative sentence on life support. The contagion appeared first on the Left Coast, where almost all language decay originates. The pestilence has a name. The name is “Uptalk.” You didn’t create the name and don’t know who did. Whoever did, nailed it. Nothing can be done about the epidemic. Almost certainly spawned by female millennials, Uptalk could have been confined to local Valley Girl gabfests. But America wasn’t that lucky. The virus penetrated, then permeated broadcast media — media that reaches millions of viewers every minute of every day. Television and radio, already immersed in the process of dumbing down American culture, welcomed a new weapon to its shallow arsenal. You won’t hear Uptalk spoken in 20th century movies or with most product advertising. But you definitely get your fill listening to any conversation on any talk show. If you have the stomach for it, you hear political pundits, show biz celebs, sportscasters, interviewers, interviewees — hear them systematically make consecutive statements that end with an upward tone or inflection, essentially in the form of a question. These are people infected or addicted to the most annoying affectation of this new century. Uptalker “statements” leave this impression — “I’m not sure you agree with what I’m saying and I’m not even sure that what I’m saying has any merit. I’m not sure you’ll agree with me. I certainly don’t want to offend you by acting decisive or appearing dogmatic.” Psychology Professor Hank Davis says, “Uptalk is basically telling listeners you’re open to different viewpoints . . . to suggest that you’re willing to back down, or restate your point, or change your viewpoint altogether if your listeners don’t (promptly) nod their approval. It’s a nasty habit. . . the very opposite of confidence or assertiveness . . . (and) it’s out of control. . . even statements about which there should be no question or doubt are presented in this tentative, timid and deferential manner.” To make matters worse, the infection has spread to almost everyone you know. Only they don’t know it. So omnipresent is it that people who routinely “uptalk” are completely unaware — they have been “normalized” to adopt this pattern of speech, brainwashed to an extent that prevents them from hearing themselves or others. Since this epidemic is as virulent as the Bubonic Plague that killed millions in 14th century Europe, your complaints are a speck of dust in the wind. But at least you can protect yourself. Always use closed captioning with TV news and talk shows. And avoid extended conversation with individuals under the age of 60. Get used to it. Uptalk isn’t going anywhere. And neither are you. If you badger people, you risk disapproval. If you avoid people, you risk alienation. So put aside your discontent and put up with the inevitable. Shouldn’t you just chill and accept Uptalk? By the way, that’s an interrogative sentence.
According to the vaunted Wikipedia, bowling is the most popular participation sport in the U.S., with more than 43 million people going bowling at least once yearly. Bowling is popular because it has to be the easiest sport ever invented. Plus it doesn’t break the bank. More about the former later. If you’re serious about this “activity,” you might invest a couple hundred bucks for a ball and shoes. Otherwise, you just rent some “house” shoes and a “house” ball. Notoriously the worst dressed people (while they’re bowling) on the planet, amateur bowlers don’t have to invest in special attire or style. In fact, they do just the opposite. Just throw on whatever you ordinarily wear to pressure wash the deck. Then definitely find some ugly shoes. Bowling alleys are relatively clean places; but beer, chicken wings, pizza and other similar delicacies have a way of sullying decent apparel. Professional bowlers do wear special clothing — brilliantly colored microfiber shirts that resemble the skin of Nascar autos decorated with at least a dozen sponsor logos. Despite being easier than curling and croquet, bowling curiously makes it on nationwide television. Recently, the world’s best competed in a round robin PBA World Series before a thunderous crowd of, say, at least 50-75 family members and close friends. Staged in what appeared to be a spiffy looking warehouse, this is the sport’s premier event, mind you. Eight professionals seemed almost as bored with the proceedings as did the audience who clapped politely when they weren’t snacking or staring at TV monitors. By comparison, televised bass fishing is electrifying. To be fair, what ostensibly “captivates” a typical television audience is the expectation of witnessing a perfect game. Every bowler — pro or amateur — wants to roll a perfect game. PBA televised events pay $10K for this rare achievement — so rare, in fact, that last year a mere 42,163 perfect games were recorded in the US. You can go to any Podunk bowling center in America and see the names of dozens of 300 rollers. They come in all ages, sizes and shapes. You can see them in League play. The game is simple. You play it on an “alley” 60′ long from the foul line to the head pin (that’s the pin in the middle, closest to you). The alley is 42″ wide. The pins (10 of them) are 15″ tall, arranged in a reverse triangle that puts them 12″ apart, each from the other. You take an 8.5″ diameter ball and roll it toward the head pin (the nearest pin). Children can do it. Recently, a 15 year old boy in the Junior Division rolled a perfect game on national TV. He received a $1000 scholarship. What generosity. Senior bowlers — grandmas and grandpas — most disabled by age to some degree — descend on alleys all over America, regularly bowling 200+ games, some flirting with perfect games. The “sport” is so easy, the perfect game has lost its luster. You can witness the apathy for yourself. Someone two lanes over may have nine strikes in a row — just three short of perfection — while others in the building pay scant attention and certainly don’t gather round. If it does happen, you have handshakes, high fives and an announcement over the PA system. Then it’s on to the next game. The good news is — bowling is lots of fun for family and friends who can socialize for a couple of hours, have some laughs and get in a little exercise — on the cheap. The bad news? As a professional sport, the game is dull as dirt. The organizing bodies better come up with some way to make the game more difficult — to add challenge — to add personality, danger or some other unexpected element. The Nascar audience would drop precipitously were it not for the danger — the possibility of massive pile-ups, cars cart-wheeling down the track, cars on fire, a driver shoving a rival into the wall and drivers punching each other after the smoke clears. Of course, Nascar is trying its best to ruin the sport by over regulating gratuitous violence. They, like the NFL, are trying to do to Nascar what Bowling has already managed to achieve. As social recreation, bowling is alive and well and will remain so. Anyone can do it; and with very little practice, can do it relatively well. Ultimately, you can eat and exercise simultaneously. And nobody — but nobody — cares how you dress.
The undisputed king of Conservative talk radio is Rush. No argument there. Most of the time his political analysis rests on solid ground. But his recent monologues on the weakness, the feebleness, the cowardice of the GOP were badly flawed, especially for someone who brags daily about his analytical superiority. Like other pundits, Rush said he’s perplexed. He said the GOP finally has political power but doesn’t exercise that power. Why? He surmises the GOP foolishly cares about its image of fair play — and thus chooses to occupy the moral high ground — to avoid media criticism and voter discontent. He claims the GOP doesn’t understand that DEMS have been waging war for decades — he says the GOP doesn’t understand that Democrats never play fair — he says the GOP doesn’t understand that the Democrat Party fights to win at all cost — that the DEMS want to bury the GOP from top to bottom. And like nearly everyone else on the planet, Rush is among those who don’t understand why the GOP doesn’t exercise its muscle, doesn’t strap it on and wage war as the voters commanded them to do with their precious votes. Rush should know better. He should grasp the obvious — that the GOP does in fact “get it.” The GOP is not timid, not spineless. He and everyone else should finally wake up and smell the Truth. The GOP and DEM are not opposition parties in the matter of political governance. They give the appearance of rivals, certainly — like heavyweights in the WWE ring. But after their skirmishes in public, these political “brawlers” laugh it up in private. No matter which party wins or loses, the outcome remains the same — the United States, the people, continue to fall deeper and deeper into astronomical debt, the addicted Federal Government continues to grow larger and larger, continues to print, borrow and spend more dollars to support its habit, and continues to impose ever increasing regulations upon every aspect of American life. You don’t have to be a forensic pathologist to diagnose the evidence of foul play, do you? After all, the evidence isn’t circumstantial. You are an eyewitness. Every year, every quarter of the year, every month of the quarter, you receive an official survey from the National Republican Committee, urging you to participate in supporting GOP “principles” — Balanced Budget, Tax reform, IRS reform, Immigration reform, Healthcare reform, Education reform, Welfare reform, etc. These mailings are bogus. They simply troll for dollars. Every month, every day, in broadcast interviews, GOP officials complain that something needs to be done to restore America’s sacred principles of Limited Government. Yet every day, debt escalates. Unelected Federal bureaucrats stretch their meddling hands into every home, every business, every school, every clinic, every city hall and every State House. The Washington swamp gets deeper and more contaminated, more corrupt. And try as it might, the GOP just doesn’t have the balance of power to act, right? Wrong. Because the GOP has no intention of solving or changing anything. More Kool Aid anyone? How dumb can you be? Pretty damn dumb if you think electing different people will lead to a different outcome. Under the circumstances, you just might want to investigate reality:
Washington — Congress, SCOTUS, every agency — will never voluntarily reduce its power, size, budget and authority over the States. Washington answers only to money and more power.
The first priority of every elected official is to secure his/her position — power, money, influence, perks, lifetime security. That priority is confirmed by assuring the Federal Government continues to grow, amassing more power and greater control.
America became the envy of the world as a model of individual liberty, free enterprise and justice before the Law. Millions flocked to the land of opportunity. Meanwhile, Europe and much of the rest of the world remain under Socialism, Communism, Monarchy and other Autocracies. These countries did not choose to emulate the American model. That fact should give you a clue.
If the majority of people wanted less government and more liberty, the U.S. wouldn’t be speeding to outright Socialism.
People eventually prefer to give up their Liberty to a powerful Government that secures their basic daily needs. Ruling classes, aristocracies, and caste systems depend on this preference.
Donald Trump is the symbol of everything the Washington oligarchy hates. He represents the robust idea of America, circa 1920. He will not fulfill his promises because the GOP will not let him succeed. Rush was right about one thing. There is a war going on. But it’s not DEM vs. GOP. It’s the DEM, GOP, Media, Fed Bureaucracy and Entertainment Industry vs. Trump and every person who voted for him.
There is one and only one remedy. The Founders, in their genius, gave it to you.
Sign the petition now.