In the course of human events (to borrow a phrase), individuals came along with Big Ideas that changed everything. Christ said nobodies could make it to Heaven. Newton was cool with the apple. Jefferson unleashed the human spirit. Edison lit up the place. But, except for spiffy technology, nothing big, nothing revolutionary, nothing cataclysmic, has altered the fundamental human experience for centuries. Until now. The newest Big Idea of this third millennium is what we now christen “The Gender Doctrine,” hereafter known as GD. Adoption of this tenet will rid the world of injustice, intolerance and inequity. It will lead to ultimate tranquility. It will save billions. It will alter the course of human history forever.

The Gender Doctrine: In the spirit of oneness with the universe, and in honor of total equality among all people everywhere, gender is prohibited, without exception, as a prerequisite to the creation, operation and use of public and private institutions, facilities and activities.

What does this mean? John Lennon would have put it this way: “Imagine there’s no gender; it’s easy if you try; no more male denials, or women asking why; imagine all the sexes, living just as one.” This unity is good news and bad news for feminists like Martha Burk. Remember her? The GD would prohibit Augusta National’s all-male status. In fact, 50% of the membership would be women and 50% of the Master’s field would be women. But, Gloria, NOW would be obsolete. As would the LPGA, WNBA, etc. All sports teams, professional and amateur alike, would include 50% of each sex, as would all civic, social and business organizations. Without question, Congress would be divided equally. The beauty of GD is its profound fairness, not to speak of its efficiency. Imagine coed bathrooms and locker rooms. As the sexes shower together, use toilet facilities together and dress together, we will witness true equality. Oh, there could be awkward moments in the beginning; but in time, imagine the benefits of unisex facilities in airports and other public places. As men and women, total strangers, literally face each other, shall we say, during life’s basic moments, the walls of bigotry come crashing down. GD would put an end to mean-spirited arguments over discrimination. Think of it. Very likely, GD would eliminate pornography and reduce crime. Essentially, the peeping toms, perverts and other sexual sadists would have no real incentives. As the sexes co-mingle, we would emulate the wholesomeness and freedom of primitive tribes who let it all hang out. Imagine the simplicity of college sports. Universities would field only one golf team, one basketball team, one soccer team, each needing only one coach, one weight room, one locker room. Imagine the end of sexual harassment in the work place. Productivity would rise dramatically; lawsuits would fall precipitously; marriages would be more secure. Dozens of agencies like the ACLU would disappear. It’s time for enactment of The Gender Doctrine. The Human Race has been stuck forever with the same old tired song. To be sure, there will be sticky issues to work out. Good job for Oprah. Or will we need her?