Just about everybody thinks most of television stinks. Ask them. Nobody admits liking most of TV. In fact, most people swear they don’t watch it all that much. Yeah, right. The sad truth is we adults and our impressionable kids are addicts to TV crap (there’s no other legitimate word for it). And the reason we watch crap is because the crap makers are experts at knowing what crap to dish out and then they convince advertisers to sponsor it. If you hate a lot of TV, then talk to business owners, large and small. Talk to IBM, Nike, Budweiser, Time Warner and the Burger Boys. They make it all possible. The reason most of us put up with crap is because there’s so much of it to choose from, we lose track of what is ordinary crap and what is superior. The market researchers know what all of us think and want (violence and sex); but just for fun, it would be interesting to make a list of what crap we would eliminate, given the power (other than turning the tube off). Let’s see …

Movie and music awards where people dress up to tell themselves how great they are.
Political talk shows featuring pundits who actually believe they’re smarter.
Sitcoms that high school dropouts could write if only they had the time.
Pro basketball. Is there a more overrated game with less drama? OK, bowling. Oh, pool.
Ninety percent of all movies which do nothing but make you wish you weren’t human.
Network commentary explaining political speeches you aren’t smart enough to get.
Ninety percent of all advertising, with a special prize for car dealers and male enhancement.
Beauty pageants which contradict the notion that humans are the superior species.
Audience participation talk shows which prove humans are not the superior species.
Day and nighttime soaps which help millions identify with futility.

Ten’s a good number. Well, goodness, what does that leave? Let’s see, a few great movies, cartoons, a load of sports (even wrestling and fishing), biography, nature, old variety reruns, shopping channels, religion, ten percent of advertising, C-Span (God love it), history, medicine, court tv, and a lot of other special interest channels. A lot of good stuff. But if you’re tired of the crap — the excessive violence for violence sake, “legit” pornography, inane psychobabble—blame it on the advertiser who is convinced we and millions of other zombies are getting precisely what we want. Hmmmmnnn.

“They who are without sin should heave the first stones.” The Man probably doesn’t mind your taking liberties with His language since the message is accurate. Only He may take issue with your belief that, of all the Godly lessons, this one needs a fat asterisk. You see, if you take His admonition at face value, you must avoid the blame game at all costs. Well, with all due respect, you’re not buying it. Especially now. The foundations of this exquisitely conceived nation have suffered serious fractures. Somebody’s to blame for the financial meltdown and the rush to Socialism. Identifying the culprits should be easy. Then we need to collect a mountain of stones and throw the hell out of them. Here’s a plan: strip away the guiltless and what’s left over are the guilty. Ingenious, no? The guiltless fall into a huge camp. These are the individuals who sustain themselves and/or their families. They prepare themselves to do something productive. They always work and live within their means. They incur productive debt only for essential goals and always manage that debt. They shun unproductive debt like the plague. They repudiate drugs. Along the way, they build nest eggs, pay taxes, cheat no one, ask for nothing and patriotically support their communities and country. Routinely, they are depicted as nerds, prudes or puritans. Routinely, they are square, un-cool. Hollywood despises and ridicules this dull group. Naturally it would. The guilty are everyone else. They are members of the Instant Gratification Society who never admit it. They care more about appearances than substance. They happily go on the hook for Caribbean cruises but bitterly resent the cost of health insurance. Millions of these respectable citizens engage in the use of recreational drugs that support the multi-billion dollar trafficking trade that in turn ruins millions of lives. They have their electronic toys, slick wheels, lattes, fancy digs and fancier duds; and they owe for most of it. They, more than anyone else, are responsible for a nation saddled by debt. Yes, they were lured by easy credit, bewitching ads and the envy of all things cool; but nobody forced them to slop at the trough. But if consumers deserve a few years of hardship for their guilt, most of our Senators and Representatives, current and past, deserve nothing less than a firing squad. They had it in their power to abide by the Constitution and prohibit the Federal Government’s interference with the banking business in the name of social engineering. Presidents may promote dumb ideas but the greatest fault begins and ends with Congressional malfeasance. Typically, ignorant Americans by the millions blame the banks and big business because some businessmen are crooks. They happen to be just like some of the crooks in churches, charitable organizations and city halls. But ignorant, spoiled Americans have to hate someone; so with Hollywood’s and CNN’s help they blame the captains of industry and other “fat cats” who are more responsible than anyone for this country’s great achievements, standard of living and philanthropic triumphs. Surely, everyone knows the fat cats could never be so incredibly successful and wealthy unless they were crooks, right? So let’s blame the very people who create the jobs. That makes a lot of sense, Martha. Don’t blame the politicians because all of us know they are selfless public servants who earn every dime of their meager salaries, pitifully small kickbacks and lifetime retirement packages. We have laws to protect the people from crooks in the streets and crooks in ivory towers, but we have no laws to protect us from the parasites in Congress and paid bureaucrats who suck up and squander American taxes to meddle where they rightly have no jurisdiction. In the end, of course, millions of brainless Americans continue to put the same charlatans back in office. And like teenaged zombies at a rock concert, we swoon at the unctuous, evangelical rhetoric of a new demagogue who feeds on our fears and ask us to behave like good little sheep. Well, things could be worse. If Jim Jones were the candidate, we would need an oil tanker full of cyanide. It’s definitely time to find a smooth, flat river rock.

“I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin, but by the content of their character.” MLK said a lot of things that suited his purpose, but these words will ring loud and clear on November 4, 2008. Because on that day, Dr. King, just a smidgen under 100 percent of all “black” citizens will vote for a “black” candidate, proving that this candidate will be judged primarily by the color of his skin, regardless of his character or lack of it. You doubtless view this assertion as a racist observation. How true. Racism and prejudice have never been more robust. On election day, tens of millions of “white” people will vote for a “black” candidate. Conversely, only a handful of “blacks” will vote for the “white” dude. You do the racist math. Regardless of the outcome, we should do something about race terminology. Black people aren’t really black. They’re some shade of brown. White people aren’t really white (except perhaps for Icelanders), but fall into shades of pink or tan. For years, there were accepted terms for race designation: Asian, Negro, Caucasian, Indian, etc, etc. But black people didn’t like the term Negro (derived from the Latin niger, i.e. black) even though historically it was a term of deep respect. Caucasian is out of use as well; so you see, Dr. King, the color of skin is now the approved designation. Carrying this inquest further, you would have to say black genes are superior to white genes. In America, if a black father and a white mother have a child, the child is black. If a white father and a black mother have a child, the child is black. Under any circumstance, no matter how far removed from the land of origin of one parent, the child is African–American. You must admit we increasingly have become a land of hyphenated people. Being an American now is not what it once was for the hordes of immigrants who passed Ellis Island and other immigration centers. They also had dreams, Dr. King: to be American citizens and speak English. Nobody called them Blank–Americans and they enthusiastically adopted their new language. But times change. Multiculturalism is the new order of things. As ancestral cultures flourish in the form of zealous organizations and political movements, a united America diminishes. English is not the default language. Western culture is not the default culture. And race takes center stage. If you’re interested, you get a glimpse of the future of multiculturalism at penitentiaries where gangs organize along racial lines and all members judge their neighbors by the color of their skin; and to be fair, by their origins. Congress may want to consider a name change to go along with the trend. One naturally comes to mind — The Hyphenated States of North America. And when somebody asks you who you are, recite your color. It will be up to them to decide if you have character.