Bully SUV’S Have Met Their Match, Baby.

The decision is all but made. The proliferation of SUVS, mammoth pick-ups and other monster vehicles have rendered the ordinary passenger car passe. Obsolete. Old-hat. Those who stubbornly cling to the automobile are in denial. Barring a cosmic disaster, the number of massive road machines will continue to escalate to keep pace with the hunger for highway domination and personal power. How do we cope with this assault on the simple sedan? How do we compete with 5’2″ moms looking for someone to run over? Let’s see. We could sell everything and work on a horse ranch in Montana. Hmmnn, that’s a little extreme. Like a vampire, we could hole up by day and drive on nearly deserted streets in the wee hours. A somewhat iffy solution unless we aspire to sort mail for an airline cargo hub. Oh, no, not in this life. Maybe later, as a member of Count Dracula’s Un-Dead. How ’bout we sell out and trade for a long-bed V-8 with extended cab—in other words, become one of them? Sorry, there’s a better idea. We need to raise the stakes and jump-start the economy at the same time. It’s time to get in a sleek, rugged Peterbilt. If big is beautiful, this is the ultimate, baby. Think of it. First-class accommodations. High-tech cockpit. 600 horses under a long-nose design. Stainless-steel grill. Acres of brilliant chrome that make a Harley jealous. This is it—this is the future of personal transportation. SUVS and all their bully cousins are history. Of course, we have to check out a Freightliner, maybe a Kenworth. Yeah, also gotta do something about remodeling the garage.

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