The Caravan nomads have reached the United States, demanding entry by demonstrating their skills with rocks, bottles and other convenient missiles. Typically, many citizens are outraged, protesting that America has duly authorized immigration laws prohibiting undocumented people crossing the border willy nilly. But you don’t understand what the fuss is all about. These wanderers are simply escaping from what some people call a “shithole.” You can’t blame any of them using whatever means are necessary to acquire free food, free housing, free healthcare, free clothing and a little pocket money for unessential essentials. No one should lose a minute’s sleep over the influx of some 5000 illegal “visitors.” No one needs to risk injury or loss of life over the mere pursuit of a better life. What’s a few thousand more mouths to feed for a filthy rich land of over 325 million? Compassion is clearly the only proper response of a Great country. It makes sense, therefore, that the most compassionate people reach out with open hearts to the new arrivals. Who are these humanitarian people? Obviously, they are the charitable, indulgent inhabitants of the politically Blue States that in 2016 voted for open borders — the very States that voted for a candidate known for her impeccable character and humanitarian ideals. Rightly assuming that her supporters share her ideals and standards, you believe they would be open to a pristine plan that would assimilate the entire Caravan into the most convenient Blue states — Washington, Oregon, Nevada, California, Colorado and New Mexico. Mrs. Clinton won 14 other states but, except for HI, all but a couple of the rest are situated in the frigid Northeast. Not exactly Utopia for Hondurans, Guatemalans and Salvadorans. So now’s the time for Trump to call on Blue Governors and State Legislatures to take over, raise the funds and send convoys of buses to the border. It’s simple math — 5000 migrants divided by six (6) states equals only 800+ migrants per state. No sweat, Hosea. To make this transition even more seamless, each Governor should call on their most compassionate citizens to formally adopt individuals or families, to take them in and sustain them until at least the adults are able to sustain themselves. Problem solved.

There is a more infinitely ideal solution, of course.

All 20 Blue compassionate states, including mega rich NY, NJ, DC, etc., could easily raise a war chest. Why, Matilda? To charter a luxury cruise liner that would ferry all 5000 refugees to the Bluest state of all — Hawaii. Instantly, these tortured people become tourists, virtually unnoticeable in the waves of visitors that show up to the four islands daily. And since Hawaii embraces Socialism more staunchly than any other state in the Union, what better place to demonstrate its virtues. Socialism needs a beta test. Socialism wants a beta test in the U.S. This is it. And who better to lead this experiment in compassion than one Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, the brilliant, newly elected Representative from NY who has championed Socialism as America’s salvation.

You are somewhat doubtful that anyone in Washington or elsewhere will take these penetrating recommendations seriously. Instead, the Caravan will languish, politicians will shuffle, and Media will agitate. Eventually, the Caravan Caper will end badly and it will be Trump’s fault. Who else? And what else can you expect from The Outsider and his Band of Deplorables?