Turn out the lights. Arguably the most negative influence in the advance of civilization, television has descended to the final abyss. When the tube insisted on dishing up vacuous sitcoms, we could always find a useful shopping channel. When moronic talk shows proved human beings are inferior to African wildlife, the remote miraculously could discover an entertaining liver transplant. When the prattle of pundits provoked thoughts of suicide options, a live sports event would show up in the nick of time. But now all is lost. Bugs Bunny is a spokesperson for Time Warner products. Bugs, Elmer, Tweety, Daffy—even the purest villain that every lived—Yosemite Sam—all have been conscripted to step out of their world and prove they aren’t real. If anyone had doubts about the natural Depravity of Man and the concept of Original Sin, behold the greedy money barons at Warner. Lacking an atom of creativity, they have robbed generations past of their memories and denied those yet unborn of what was always magic. The time has come for Wile E. Coyote to successfully ambush that idiotic bird and rid the earth of that infernal honking. Truth be known, kids want to see the bird go down anyway. Let’s hear it for Wile E. And try to remember when Bugs was Bugs. He always did it his way.