You don’t blame God one bit for being miffed. Of all His concoctions, humans are the absolute pits — a bunch of self-indulgent, spoiled crybabies. He’s told us how to live but we insist on breaking all the rules. Generation after generation, we repeat the same tired mistakes and, worse, we have the audacity to whine and moan when things go south. He gave us a majestic universe, but nothing’s ever quite right with it. It’s too windy, too cold, too dry, too wet, yada yada. If the wailing weren’t irritating enough, can you imagine His dismay as meteorologists (the only profession where being wrong is irrelevant) and arrogant environmentalists predict the health of the Earth? No wonder He loses his cool and wants to slap us silly. No wonder He reminds us who’s in charge. He’s sick of hearing about the low water table. When He sent us relief from drought, did we thank Him? Of course not. The meteorologists weren’t satisfied with raging rivers, full lakes and flooding. They never are. The water table, they sniveled, is still below acceptable geologic levels. And that’s not all, they say. The planet’s at risk in a hundred other ways. Global warming is killing us. Gasp. Gasp. Meanwhile, all God’s children gaze hypnotically at TV weather imagery and listen dutifully to the weather celebrities who tell us what they don’t know every hour of the day and night. These people have Satellite Enhanced Imagery, Super Doppler, Double Doppler and Accu-Weather technology. With these toys, they tell us it could rain or snow or be partly cloudy or partly sunny or hail or freeze beginning tonight or maybe tomorrow or depending on the low or the high it might do something — perhaps. In that regard, I offer a scientific question: If the weather is out there somewhere, and a meteorologist is not there to predict it, does it really happen?