“Ping!”

The text shows up from someone who’s not among your contacts. The message is direct.

“It’s Mike Johnson. I’m in a tough spot right now. I’m $100,000 short of my November goal and you’re my only hope. Help me hit my goal here.”

“Here” is the internet link that takes you to a colorful photo of Johnson with the accompanying descriptor — “FROM THE DESK OF SPEAKER MIKE JOHNSON.” In a nutshell, that communication alone is enough to elicit from you a tired but fervent “Bullshit.” Nothing like a lie to confirm your hostile view of GOP fundraising, because there’s no way the message came from the new speaker’s desk. It came either from the NRCC or from NRC boiler room hacks who don’t subscribe to original thinking. For example, scroll down and read exactly what you have come to expect from mediocrity.

“We need to turn this ship around . . . House Democrats out-raised us by millions last quarter . . . we rely on regular folks like you to keep the lights on . . .”

Where’s the barf bag?

Welcome to world class whining, courtesy of the GOP — the undisputed whine experts. The good news is you feel all warm and fuzzy knowing you’re “regular folks.” But even more important is what Johnson allegedly says in “his” text. He says, “You’re my only hope.” Damn. Double damn. The Speaker himself wrote that? To you. Hot damn, Matilda, that’s a lot of pressure to lay on a somebody, much less a nobody. Imagine — you — the only hope.

You gotta talk to Mike. Seriously. Do it quick. Now that he feels comfortable texting you, it should be OK to call him Mike. Get to know him. Maybe call him Mikey. Sit with him. Level with him. Let him know that he shouldn’t let all his hopes ride on you. That he needs to understand — at least two dozen other members of the House are also banking on you, not to mention sitting senators, GOP presidential candidates and gubernatorial candidates. But, what the hell, you have the time; you’re definitely open to his visit for a private session. After all, he does work for you. Like all employees, he wants something from you and the truth is you want something from him. So, before he shows up at your doorstep, you better have a specific list of actions you want from him.

You want him:
To address the full House, recommending the Convention of States Resolution. No big deal. He already endorsed COS in several interviews.  But America hasn’t heard him.

To contact every state legislature to approve the COS Resolution.

To publish a list of GOP house members who are closet RINOs. The American people who elected them deserve to know who they are.

To publish a list of GOP members who want to see Trump driven from the 2024 election. Mike knows who they are.

To propose a balanced budget that, at the very least, eliminates funding for Planned Parenthood, the Department of Education and foreign aid to America’s avowed enemies.

To hold congressional hearings to impeach DHS secretary Alejandro Mayorkas, charging him with treason for flooding America with illegal aliens and drugs.

To hold congressional hearings to impeach J. Biden, charging him with treason for violating his oath of office.

To personally censure the US Supreme Court for assaulting the US Constitution.

Mike won’t see this list unless he knocks on your door. The chances of that happening? Yep, when Hell freezes over. To be reasonably civil, you respect him and other warriors in Washington who put their country ahead of their political (and financial) ambitions. Some are in the limelight; some labor in the dark, unappreciated. As far as you can tell, two lawmakers from your state — senators Thom and Ted — manage to avoid combat. Another — Rep. R. Hudson — just happens to be chair of the NRCC. Hudson (Richard) and NRC chair Ronna McDaniel need to pool their resources and figure out how to stop losing elections. When Trump won in 2016, the GOP establishment smiled in public but wept in private. They in fact lost when Trump won. So they did and do the next best thing — secretly stab him in the back at every opportunity. Incidentally, Mitt Romney’s niece Ronna makes over 400,000 clams a year. Not bad for a loser.

You have to remember — this rant is about politics. Money and power. That’s it. You won’t hear from Speaker Mike. But, definitely, you’re bound to hear from his desk — repeatedly.

www.conventionofstates.com