No one argues that anger commands the American landscape. Anger over race. Abortion. Foreign aid. War. Drugs. Bailouts. Corruption. Jobs. Religion. Gas prices. ObamaCare. Gay marriage. Yada yada. But any of these so-called issues pales by comparison to the single most destructive affliction on the planet — erectile dysfunction (ED). Evidently, if you believe in expert medical polling data, and why wouldn’t you, 60 percent, or approximately 70 million “members” of the U.S. male adult population, are ill-equipped to deliver the goods. At that astonishing level, no one can deny this misfortune is nothing less than a raging epidemic. So you must question: Why hasn’t ED dominated the GOP debates? Giving Michelle a pass, eight men were on the debate stage in the beginning. Do the math — at least five of them must have ED. The media organizations — all of them — missed a rich opportunity to probe this issue in the public interest — to learn more about which candidates can stand up to the challenge and be all they can be. As it is, we must applaud Lilly and Pfizer for spending hundreds of millions of advertising dollars annually and giving millions of apprehensive males the confidence to be ready at anytime and anyplace. And that includes none other than the Leader of the Free World. Of all people, he needs something he can count on. The ups and downs of his election are simply a rehearsal for the big show and all of his unpredictable highs and lows. But there’s something else the media missed. You missed it, too — until now. Like everyone else, you blamed Fannie Mae, Freddie Mac, hedge funds, China, Iraq and out of control government spending for the country’s economic malaise. Not for a minute did you stop to realize that no economy can thrive when over half the adult male work force is besieged by and preoccupied with ED. What real man can be productive in a career when his very manhood, his very essence, is not all it should be? As you read this, men on Wall Street and Main Street, in coal mines and assembly lines, on oil fields and playing fields, at banks and breweries — and those in every other conceivable walk of life — are psychologically unfit to perform at a high level. Productivity plummets, and along with it, GDP. To make matters worse, ED drugs rob the average male of any significant mental acuity and ability to concentrate. This ineptitude clearly explains cultural decay, signaled by vulgarities like rap, piercing, tattoos and coarse language. However content the average ED male may be on the job, he is equally that useless. This malicious plague shows no signs of relenting as political candidates talk aimlessly about mundane issues like health care, immigration and contraception. Suddenly, you understand why nothing gets done in Congress and why your President requires a teleprompter to appear lucid. Invariably, reading requires low-level brain activity. Thinking is another matter altogether. Figures.

Size is a killer. (No, this isn’t about Cialis.) You remember a great company that for years attracted the best people, performed the best work, created the best products and delivered solid profits. That was before the company’s decision to dominate the market through dramatic expansion aimed at driving competitors into the dust. With this explosive growth came a top heavy bureaucracy, a commodity mentality and eventual disintegration. You also remember a dozen manufacturing companies staffed by craftsman who made superb products that became national brands. Those brands competed with each other, spawning retail growth, giving consumers excellent choices and returning solid profits. That was before a decision to roll up the companies into one massive, mediocre enchilada. Lost jobs, lost factories, lost quality, lost brands. Sayonara, baby. On an epic level, the lust for size and power resides in all government, especially the Federal Government. Government is like a supernatural leech that attaches itself to everything. The 1958 Sci-fi movie is today’s reality. The Federal Blob swells larger and larger. The larger it gets, the more ravenous it becomes, engulfing everything and everyone. But unlike private business, this worthless Blob will not die, despite the incompetence. Despite the bumbling, bungling, botching and stumbling. The Federal Blob is on permanent life support. And, you, my friend, are that support — or should you say — slave. There are 19 primary federal regulatory agencies. More than 50 agencies have a hand in federal regulatory policy. Together, these agencies enforce at least 150,000 pages of rules. Even a simpleton can understand the drill. Congress creates an agency. The Department of Education is a good example. The job of the agency is to regulate. People are hired as regulators. Today, there are over 5000 of these education regulators. These people make salaries by creating regulations and enforcing regulations. That means the department has to grow to support higher salaries; therefore, to grow and earn more income, the regulators desperately need to concoct new regulations. There’s absolutely no point in being a regulator unless you produce new regulations. At last report, the Department of Education is attempting to make ends meet with a $75,000,000,000+ budget.* Poor babies. Meanwhile, the other 18 agencies are hustling to grow their share of the regulatory pie. In fact, if The Blob’s regulatory operation were a business, it would rank among the 50 largest in revenues and third largest in number of employees. The regulators outnumber the people working for McDonald’s, Ford, Disney and Boeing combined. Yes , Matilda, the federal regulatory business is booming. Combined budgets are up 16% since 2008. Meanwhile, employment is up 13% (by 281,000) while private-sector jobs shrank by 5.6%. So it’s no surprise that regulatory production is way up, measured by the thousands of new rules The Federal Blob churns out. Evidently, Congress and enough brain-dead American people believe all of us need regulators to tell us how to run our businesses, what to eat, what not to eat, what light bulbs to use, what to teach our children, what doctors to see — because, truth be known, you’re too stupid to live successfully without this guidance. The Blob is swelling at a record rate and shows no sign of going on a diet. Where does that leave you? Satisfied? Supportive? Sensitive? How about — suffocated?

* The Department of Education is by far the Blob’s smallest cabinet-level department.

The Occupy Wall Street (OWS) movement did America a large favor. For generations, ordinary folks have suspected that greedy capitalists have monopolized wealth. Now that OWS and other courageous citizens from coast to coast have sacrificed themselves, it’s up to the moderates, liberals, socialists, union members and all other fair-minded Americans everywhere to stand shoulder to shoulder and expose the filthy rich who smother and repress honest working people from sharing in the good life. Above all, thanks to OWS, honest Americans now can expose capitalism for what it really is.  And nowhere is capitalism more discriminatory and gluttonous than in professional sport. In fact, professional sport reveals clearly the evils of capitalism and fans everywhere hunger for a change. Especially in the area of discrimination. Thousands —  millions — of players are excluded from playing professional sport because they are not big enough, strong enough, fast enough or lucky enough. Players born with exceptional talent have all the advantages. There is only one way to describe their salaries — obscene. The best players have more money than entire companies. And no one can justify the immense salary disparity among team members. To be fair, every player on every team should have the identical salary regardless of position. Every football player is important to a team. A quarterback is nothing without an offensive line. A pitcher is nowhere without a catcher. A Nascar driver is  nobody without the lowliest member of the pit crew. Share and share alike is the only moral system. In fact, college athletes who are drafted and granted big bonuses should share their windfall with college teammates who helped make it all possible. Tiger Woods is worth half a billion dollars. Thousands of other golfers make little or nothing; but without all of these other golfers, there would be no tournaments. By all rights, therefore, tournament winners should receive recognition and valuable trophies; but each golfer that competes should receive equal payment. It’s only fair. You can hear diehard capitalists now, whining that some athletes work harder, contribute more, have more ability, attract more fans, take more risk, blah, blah. That’s a tired old song, sung to hide the obvious truth — that the only way to even out the inequities of life is to share in the rewards of life. Since professional sport by far is the most visible example of the immorality of capitalism, we should begin there; then move on to a place like Hollywood. Leading actors, directors and writers make mega-millions while set builders, technicians, grips and other slugs struggle to make ends meet. Next in line are major corporations that must be held accountable — to distribute wealth to all employees equally, from top to bottom. Wealthy entrepreneurs who have the good fortune to be in the right place at the right time, must also share equally with the public sector. Thankfully, we have a President who is and will continue to be an eloquent spokesperson for this fair distribution of wealth. With his innate genius, unparalleled experience, understanding and moral courage, he eventually will persuade all caring Americans to realize that only Central Planning Agencies, under his direction, can bring about equal treatment and economic justice throughout the land. Whatever overrated progress America may have made in the past 236 years will pale by comparison to the future as he, in his own words, “transforms America.” No one will argue that he is well on his way. Capitalism may not die easily or gracefully; but little by little, with the continued consent of the governed, it’s only a matter of time.