The most important four letter word in America is like, well, like a word that enables conversation to take place, like, among a vary large segment of the population. Without this word, the average person would, like, need a much more extensive vocabulary and, like, an actual understanding of exactly how to put real sentences together. This word has become the essential anchor of our language, nowhere more apparent than, like, where celebrities gather — like on television talk shows and sitcoms. Like, this word is especially necessary to females — say ages 10-40 — roughly 90 million ladies. You recently had occasion to overhear three coeds, like, attempting to describe and discuss an event they witnessed; and in a matter of, like, no more than, like, a minute, this vital word was uttered no less than 50 times. What you are unable to grasp is how this exceptional word escaped the attention of no less stalwart figures than Thomas Jefferson, Abraham Lincoln and, like, other superstars of history. Incredibly, like neither the Declaration of Independence nor the Gettysburg Address contains a single mention. Not one. As celebrated as these documents may be, you are, like, perplexed how the brightest minds could, like, have ignored a uniquely American expression — one that could have enlivened these rather plodding compositions. With over 200 years of progress and with the benefit of America’s stellar pubic education system, today’s young minds might offer these improvements: “We , like, hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are, like, created equal, that they are, like, endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are, like, Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.” At the cemetery in Gettysburg, Pa., we can only imagine the outpouring of praise, had Abe declared: “. . . that from these honored dead we, like, take increased devotion to that cause for which they, like, gave the last full measure of devotion — that we here highly resolve that these dead shall not have died, like, in vain — that this nation, like, under God, shall have a new birth of freedom — and that government of the people, by the people, for the people, shall not, like, perish from the earth.” To be fair, America’s most dominant four letter word is almost exclusively spoken, not written. Without it, basic communication would, like, be in peril. Talk shows might just become obsolete. An eerie silence would, like, settle over cities and plains, like  chloroform. Not to worry, though. Like this valuable word is not only here to stay, but also flourishing. Like who needs a vocabulary, anyway?