You and most of the people you know aren’t insane — that is, insane enough to risk confinement under the supervision of Nurse Ratchet. But  don’t rule out,  by virtue of being human, everyone is at least marginally cracked, much like everyone is a sinner — as the denizens of every pulpit at every faith-based gathering will never let you forget. Giving yourself a pass on ordinary Sin, you’re also gratified to know that you’re innocently possessed by a trace of insanity, and that knowledge might finally help explain human behavior. Unfortunately, no one has invented a polygraph for the brain — a simple device that, in the time it takes to chug a cup of coffee, could measure your level of derangement. Using an insanity scale of 1-10, a score of 8-10 would render you certifiable. A score of 1-3 would suggest that you’re normal — yet unpredictable enough to occasionally say or do something irrational — even something remarkably dumb. But please don’t confuse serious insanity with a misstep, an accident or some kind of spontaneous, regrettable action. Compared to these “normal” behavior patterns, a serious mental disorder — namely, level 5-10 — generally involves a studied premeditation.

You’re a husband and father, tooling along a relatively peaceful, back country two-lane road. You come to that runway stretch, and squeeze the accelerator, squeeze it, squeeze it, till the needle kisses 130, risking the lives of Farmer Brown, Bambi and assorted livestock, as well as exposing your family back home to ridicule and pain. Nuts, open and shut. You’re a 20-year-old stud, happily juiced as you lurch from your frat party, stumble behind the wheel and decide, no sweat, the late hour means light traffic. Besides, you’ve been down this road before. Your power of concentration is the stuff of legends. Mental city. You’re 16 and all the friends you care about — especially that sweet thing — are into pot, ecstasy and coke — you know you’re strong and can dabble all you want, no problem. Well, not for an imbecile. You’re a wife, mother and staff attorney at an association meeting, when simultaneously you choose to advance your career and escape boredom in the arms of a senior partner. Temporary insanity, your Honor. You’re a 30 year-old, single, African American mother of three, working two jobs, and you press the voting booth button for Hillary Clinton because she’s your best hope for a better life. Utterly mindless. You’re the head of the FBI and you decide the fate of your country, the stature of your office and your self respect are not worth upholding the letter of the law. Sheer madness. You’re a 20 year-old university coed, and you think, really believe, that the American taxpayer should bear the cost of your reproductive choices. Major screw loose.

Bear in mind, you dare not confuse customary insanity with criminal behavior. Evildoers are the sanest of people. They don’t make a move that isn’t calculated, aimed at illegally taking control, taking property or taking lives. Predators must be organized — clinical and pragmatic to the extreme. Serial killers are more methodical than your favorite financial analyst. On the insanity polygraph, evildoer scores rarely exceed the level of 1. You know who these people are. They know who they are and they don’t care that you know who they are. They come in all sizes, colors, genders, races and economic classes. The most famous of these evildoers reside in Washington DC, laughably the place designed to reflect the Nation’s highest ideals. But you know predators inhabit every nook and cranny of this great land — corporate boardrooms and back alleys, city highways and country lanes, posh neighborhoods and decaying slums. You must admit you have a grudging admiration for those beasts who risk their lives in the pursuit of plunder. It’s an “honest” living. Conversely, you reserve your most extreme loathing for criminal politicians who abuse the public trust and go to any length to gain power, influence and money. These are  people who get away with murder behind the cloak of respectability. Insanity can be treated. Evil is incurable.