Isn’t it time that White, Anglo-Saxon, Heterosexual, Christian, Overbearing Males had an organization all their own? WASHCOM. Not bad. Don’t they need to band together and speak out when somebody says something insensitive or prejudicial about them? Women have NOW and the Lifetime Channel. Blacks have the NAACP. The LULAC signs up Latinos. Asian Americans unite under the UAAO. Gays and Lesbians march under the NGLTF. CAIR fights for the rights of Muslims. The AAI speaks for Arab Americans. Jews use the ADA to attack anti-Semitic bias. Special interest organizations number in the thousands for every conceivable nationality and cause. Most of them are fighting for “rights” and against discrimination. If that’s true, you have to guess they must think of themselves as minorities who are being denied their rights by somebody. Who persecutes these people, pray tell? Let’s see, if you exclude Women, Children, African Americans, Arabs, Jews, Gays and Lesbians, Atheists, Latin Americans, Asian Americans and a myriad other ___ (fill in the blank) Americans, who’s left? Evidently, all of these people are at war with WASHCOMs. G.W., Cheney, Gingrich and Limbaugh could be WASHCOM poster boys. Well, they should be ashamed, shouldn’t they? Truth be known, they and their ilk probably have many deep-seated prejudices, so typical of your average WASHCOM. In honor of our Founding Father WASHCOMs, Congress should amend the Constitution to outlaw prejudice. It should establish a new Federal agency — the Commission to Regulate All Prejudice (CRAP). Having the right to life, liberty and the pursuit of property worked pretty well to build the greatest nation on earth, but these rights are too ambiguous and no longer protect the feelings and welfare of millions who have special needs and interests. The ERA and EEOC are not strong enough. We need CRAP. It should blanket the land and pass into every home, school, church and business. By making prejudice a felony, CRAP would punish all bigots, especially those who carelessly vilify minority groups. Some idiot radicals might argue that WASHCOMs have the right to be prejudiced in a free society. Shouldn’t they have the right to be a Group? Perhaps, but they better put a lid on their opinions. Or they will have to deal with — you guessed it — CRAP.
